"Bad News"

The past couple of months I have been growing in my faith and have really felt God in my heart. Life has been great and I have been the happiest I have been in a long time. However, one morning this week I got some news that really broke my heart and tested my faith. The rest of that day was filled with tears, stress, anxiety, and fear. The complete opposite of peace and the happiness that I had been feeling for such a long time. It had all disappeared within seconds. My earthly mind went straight to thinking about everything I can do about the situation, everything that I can do to make it better, and what I can tell myself to make me believe that it will be okay. I started trying to convince myself that I was going to be okay, that I was going to make it through the situation, and God had hold of the situation. He did and He always does, just that morning I didn’t believe it. Everything I was telling myself wasn’t making me feel any better. I was still filled with stress, anxiety, and fear, and I was still on the verge of tears. Later that day, I was in my car STILL thinking about what I could do to make the situation better. I was thinking about what I could do to give myself some peace and I was trying to tell myself that I was going to think of a plan and everything would work out. Then the song “Way Maker” by Leeland came on the radio. (If you haven’t heard that song, I highly suggest it!) The lyrics of the song broke through my thoughts and I heard, “Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the Darkness. My God that is who you are.” I just started to cry once I heard that (very scary when you’re driving, but God meets you where you are). After that I stopped trying to fix the situation myself and I stopped trying to convince myself that I would be okay, because I realized that I couldn’t! There was nothing that I was capable of to fix the situation, or even to make it go away. There was absolutely nothing that I could tell myself that I was actually going to believe. But what I did realize is that I could find all of that in Christ, including the real peace that I had been feeling the days prior. I’m not talking about peace that we get from telling ourselves that “this was meant to happen,” but a Godly peace that fills your heart to the very brim.

Later that night I really felt pushed to read the book of Romans. No verse stuck out to me and I didn’t have a giant epiphany, but after reading I found peace in that very scary situation. I knew that what was happening was God’s plan. I knew that He was with me and I wasn’t alone. I knew that He would provide for me the things that I needed. I knew that He was going to prepare my heart for what was about to happen. I got on my knees and prayed: I asked Him to prepare my heart and to continue to fill me with peace. I asked Him to tell me what I was supposed to do, and what He wanted me to do. I told Him what I was worried about and why I was scared. The next day I woke up, and was again in my car driving. This time I wasn’t even thinking about the situation, I was just content with life at that moment, I knew God was with me and I wasn’t scared. But then the situation popped into my head out of nowhere, and instead of being filled with anxiety and fear, the Lord showed me His plan. He told me I was okay, that He knew what He was doing, and that everything was going to be perfectly fine. It wasn’t me trying to tell myself it was going to be okay and forcing myself to believe it. It was The Lord telling me that I was going to be okay, so I actually did believe it. My heart was filled with praise and worship. This is the first time in my life that I have EVER dealt with a scary situation by completely handing it over to God and it was hard. Not that I’m proud of it, but I’m sharing it because we can call ourselves Christians, but not let go. We tend to say, “ok God I hear you, but let me tell you what I’M thinking!” We are missing out on the full glory and perfection of God when we chose to not let go. Every day I will have to choose to hand it over to Him, but I can have peace and faith in my God, who is a Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, and a Light in the Darkness.

When we get bad or scary news we have two options. We can either try to use our human abilities to fix it, or we can fall into an all-loving and perfect God. The two look very different and produce two very different results. When we try to handle a situation on our own, we risk failure, we feel pressure to make the perfect decisions, and we may not even feel fulfilled with the end result. If we never felt peace with the situation happening in the first place, how can we feel peace with the outcome? But, if we give it to God, and we say to The Lord, “I know you have me in your hands. I know that you are a perfect God. I know that your plan is greater than my plan and you will use this to strengthen my faith. I trust in you Lord.” It doesn’t mean that the storm goes away or stops, but it DOES mean that we can find peace amongst the storm. We find God amongst the storm. In Matthew 14:25-31 Peter walks on water:

“During the fourth watch of the nights Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’ ‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’ ‘Come,’ he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said ‘why did you doubt?’”

When Peter took his focus off of Jesus and saw the strength of the storm he began to sink, but Jesus didn’t stop the storm. The bible says that after Peter cried to the Lord and asked Him to save him, He immediately reached out to help Peter. He rescued Peter from his fear, not the storm. He also addressed Peter’s faith. If we have faith in our God, then why do we doubt Him? Jesus may not take the storm away, but He does offer His hand for us to reach for in the midst of it.

Romans 8:15 says this: “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’” If I have the spirit of God in me then even though my human flesh may feel fear, I can be comforted in the Spirit. I can be comforted in the Holy Spirit that doesn’t have any fear. I can call out to my Heavenly Father and I can find comfort in Him. I still have to weather the storm and I still have to face my fear, but I know that The Lord is with me and He will not abandon me. I am not alone. I know “that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). I pray that when we get news that is heartbreaking, or if we are put into a situation where we cannot find any light, that we trust God. I pray that we immerse ourselves in His word and His love. I pray that we reach out to grab the outstretched hand that Jesus has for us. I pray that we are reminded of what Jesus did for Peter, and we have faith that He will do that for us, He is simply waiting on us to ask for help. I also pray that while we weather the storm, that we continue to worship in the midst of it. That we never forget that His promises are eternal.

"Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always,” Psalm 105:4.